OKAY I GUESS I WILL

3:29 PM DJ FUCKING PRETENTIOUS: POST

ON

THE

BLOG

me: i'm not posting on the blog

3:30 PM DJ FUCKING PRETENTIOUS: blog improves quality of life

me: i'll get around to it eventually

you're probably right

but enthusiasm to do anything right now is kind of non-existent

3:31 PM DJ FUCKING PRETENTIOUS: i'm gonna give you some homework

watch this video

and say whatever the fuck you want about it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KX5xh4AX2HU&feature=player_embedded

me: ok

3:33 PM DJ FUCKING PRETENTIOUS: it involves tots

me: well i do like those

my review, as requested: this video makes me uncomfortable in ways i'm not entirely sure how to express. i didn't even make it all the way through. it just seemed... wrong. the auto-tuning? the doberman bra hanger? the refrigerator hand job? i don't know. i don't want to know. I'M DONE, LET'S GO HOME

THANKS RICHARD BRANSON

I don't need to say too much about Virgin Freefest other than that the DJs were fucking fantastic. I expected Calvin Harris to be excellent and he delivered. That is until he decided to play SANDSTORM. what. I've said it before and I'll say it again, but Sandstorm is only appropriate at empty raves thrown by Alex Swage. Of course you want to see this. Of course you do. I didn't take this video, by the way, since I decided to extricate myself from this madness halfway through.

BONUS: Check out the left side of the video at 1:34 for an extra special surprise.




So we all knew Deadmau5 was going to kill (a given) but I had no idea how hard. It sucks for those of you who couldn't be there, because THIS is what you missed. My favorite crazy insane cube light show starts at 5:05:



If you missed Deadmau5 this weekend, he's playing two unadvertised shows at The Fillmore in Silver Spring on Wednesday and Thursday of next week.

YOU BROUGHT SOMETHING SPECIAL OUT OF ME

Remember the 90s? When R&B and hip-hop weren't actually ear-bleeding awful?

Let's remember together:

FYI there won't be any posts by DJ FUCKING PRETENTIOUS over the holiday weekend because he's too busy being oppresively white and sailing on a yacht - with more white people - to probably another yacht club made up of even more white people. And white wine.

PUT YOUR BREAKFAST ON THE BLOG

-DJ FUCKING PRETENTIOUS, 1 am.

You like bacon, right? Also, pancakes:

Hipster music video competition

THE HELENATOR and I were arguing last night over which of the following two hipster music videos (hereafter HMVs) was better. We need your help to resolve this argument. Please vote for your favorite HMV in the comments.

FROM THE ULTRABLOG CHAT FILES

i guess you might want some musics because this is a musics blog
DJ Skeet Skeet - Trap House Volume 1 by shdowling

it's a mixtape from this dude so you know it's GOLD see what i did there?:

WHERE WAS THIS DEVICE DURING *MY* CHILDHOOD???

You certainly wouldn't have found it around my house. Thus the ineptitude. But maybe, JUST MAYBE, if I'd had a Red Rider BB Gun, I meeaaaaan a TYCO HOT KEYZ, my life would have been changed forever and I'd be the coolest kid on the block and have half a concept of what attack, decay, sustain, or release mean. But in another, more accurate way, I probably would have just broken it or forgotten about it once its D-sized batteries ran out and my parents refused to buy me any more because of the GAWDAWFUL RACKET.

Either way, Wahlström and Valiant (the first of which sounds vaguely scandinavian, to their credit) made a mix that uses this for everything but the drums. And it's amazing. Just think about it: little DJ PRETENTIOUS, age 9, playing this song. I know, it wouldn't have actually happened, BUT I CAN DREAM.

HOT KEYZ

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: NYE DJ ENGAGEMENTS!

Good news everyone! DJ FUCKING PRETENTIOUS and THE HELENATOR will both be doing guest DJ sets (does plugging in an iPod count?) at The Tulip House's incredible NYE Party/Festival/Orgy on Friday. COME!

If you do not come out we will be very sad and play angry musics.