Belated Album Review: Valerie and Friends

So basically there's only one reason that I'm reviewing this album. It's not that I want to trash it, although there's plenty of albums in existence that I should probably review on here so that I can trash them. But no, the reason I'm reviewing Valerie and Friends is that I can't believe it took me so long to find this album when it describes all that is in my soul. Their crunchy basslines, gentle filters, and airy synths feel like a vision of what electronic dance music would be playing if you walked into a space station's nightclub. Oh, how I want to live on that space station right now.


This is the only link I could find to the compilation, but you can find it on Spotify or iTunes.

Mighty awesome way to end October

October's not gone yet, but Mighty Mouse has already given us something to look forward to in November. It's not Thanksgiving, the earlier sunsets, the crunchy leaves or the frosty weather. Rather it's the drop of the bass, the buildup of another disco track, and the seductive vocal tracks featured in his November mixtape. It's the feel of cold night air after burning it up in the club.

Mighty Mouse November 2011 Mixtape by Mighty Mouse

Parties and a Scooter

This is mostly to distract you from the video below, which you SHOULD NOT WATCH. CROTCHFACES, OK? DO YOU LIKE THOSE? NO, YOU DON'T.

But I guess it's also about some awesome things coming up:

1) Old news - Dancetoberfest was totally rad. Firedancers were TOTALLY AWESOME. Wine and cider were AWESOME, sound system was... uncooperative but the DJ's were AWESOME. Also, if you enjoy listening to repeated requests for "Stepping Razor", we had those too.

2) Halloween is coming up, which should be awesome. Playing at THE PALACE with the awesome guys from AWESOME PHYSICAL POWER. This is pretty much what it's going to be like (via Kid RB): 

3) I Just got a scooter. It's like the coolest thing around. Consequently I have christened it with a scooter mix, which I made last night. Well, more accurately I made a mix last night and couldn't think of what to call it, so it's the Scooter Mix now. The Scooter Mix by THE SHITSHOW

Saturday: New Rusko

The funny thing about having been to several of these already is that I know he's gonna yell "D.C.! This is the new shit!". This time it really is a new thing - still dubstep obviously, but with more synth and a sweet vocal track over some old school trancey stuffs. I like it.



It's reviewed here by the good folks at RCRD LBL who are probably doing this as their for-real jobs, hence they know what they're talking about, or at least sound like it:

“Everyday” takes the chirping line from the original—“the sun is shining everyday”—as a jumping off point, then quickly veers off the path, sculpting what sounds like a whole new song, but one that is at least in line with Rusko’s sentiment (which is very much wrapped up in the idea of perennial sunshine). In recent interviews, Rusko has admitted he’s abandoned the dark mood and distorted bass characterizing so much of dubstep in favor of more technical songwriting (key changes, bright melodies). Netsky’s makeover of Rusko excavates these latent skills in the young DJ, and the result is joyful.

I'm not sure whether "joyful" is the word I was gonna use, but I'm wicked psyched for the show Saturday at the 930 club.

Hipster music video competition

THE HELENATOR and I were arguing last night over which of the following two hipster music videos (hereafter HMVs) was better. We need your help to resolve this argument. Please vote for your favorite HMV in the comments.

I'm gonna talk about Filter House again and you can't stop me; also some shitshow debriefing

Everything should have filters. My car, for example: has an air filter. Meanwhilst, my tracks have high-pass/low-pass filters. That makes them more sexy, as I've gone on about at length in previous posts.

But Moonchild, the exact artist I was excited about in my last post, has a new (debut!) EP coming out and so I'm even more excited. Even better: it rocks.

Moonchild - Love Birds EP + Remixes by Moonchild

PS. Many many thanks to our awesome performers at SHITSHOW: THE PARTY. As a result of your herculean efforts, it was an awesome success (if I do say so myself).

In particular, many thanks to our favorite band, FOURTH GRADE SECURITY RISK. We will always sing the Star Spangled Banner when you say the Pledge of Allegiance.

Also many thanks to our fire spinners: SPINABELLE LEE, MAGNIFICENT MAXWELL, and NEMESIS!

The DJs, MAN WITHOUT PANTS, DJ FUCKING PRETENTIOUS, and KID R.B. are now part of the label known as AWESOME PHYSICAL POWER, which has just released its first track on Soundcloud:

Derezzed (Man Without Pants Remix) by ManWithoutPants

Maybe you noticed its DEBUT PERFORMANCE at the party! Unbeknownst to MAN WITHOUT PANTS, I will be interviewing him soon to find the details of his creative process and that will result in some sort of blog post.

BREAKING NEWS: KING COBRA UNDISPUTED CHAMPION OF ALL FORTIES

According to recent, entirely unscientific taste tests, King Cobra is the undisputed best of all forties that are out there, or at least all of those worth trying. Now, as most of you know, I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS SHIT FOR YEARS. Specifically ever since the glorious spring break of 2003 (WOOOOOO SPRING BREAK!!!!), I've been evangelizing the many benefits of this brand. So it feels really good to be vindicated by the experts at [whatever that website was].






Here is a breakdown of the study's results:

Colt 45:
It has an over-carbonated sweetness that reminds me of Miller High Life, and I hate Miller High Life. But if it's good enough for Billy Dee Williams, it's good enough for me, even if Billy Dee's famous claim that it "works every time" is only applicable to my life if the work in question involves passing out in the bushes on the way home from Kevin O'Malley's house the summer before 12th grade.

Mickey's:
The taste is mild and unassuming, which is a good thing in a beverage category full of dubious assumptions. With rebuses on the underside of the caps, it's also the thinking man's 40.

Steel Reserve:
This sickly yellow beaut is 8.1% ABV and tastes like dry topsoil, and not in an altogether unpleasant way.

St. Ides:
Celebrity endorser Ice Cube is my favorite West Coast rapper, which is not nearly enough to compensate for the ugly truth. It tastes like cotton. St. Ides sucks.

Haffenreffer Private Stock:
This was the easiest 40 to come by during my misspent youth, and I still like it even though it's a bit soapier than I remembered. Bonus points for being brewed in Jamaica Plain back in the good old days before the bakeries squeezed out the malt liquories. (My research assistant, despite having been conceived in JP, thought it was the worst of the bunch. She cited the taste and the aftertaste as two particular flaws; when pressed for a specific description, she said, "It tastes like something I hate.")

Olde English 800:
This tastes like nine parts stale beer mixed with one part store-brand cream soda. I hope my man Eazy E snuck into heaven, but if not the silver lining is that they surely serve his beloved OE in hell.

King Cobra:
This tasted faintly of overripe lemon and very little else, which made it the runaway winner of our tasting.

NOTHING SAYS "I LOVE YOU" LIKE THE BASS DROP OF A SHITTY DUBSTEP TRACK

Seriously, before you get out those big yellow rubber gloves for whatever kinky shit you've got planned tonight, make sure you hit play on this mixtape. It was specifically designed by the LUV SCIENTISTS at Mad Decent (i.e., Dirty South Joe and Flufftronix) to induce sexy behavior in humans and probably some other kinds of organisms as well. Just imagine, hundreds of millions of bacteria fucking on your skin. Except that they don't really fuck, they divide. And they do that regardless of what music's playing. But just think about that. And then get it on, or something. Why? Listen to this line from the artists themselves:

"Luvstep 2 is the sound of electronic gruv glide inside lazer guided lullabies."

I don't even know that means. But you know who does? FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT. What a fucking love machine.

Dirty South Joe & Flufftronix - Luvstep 2 by flufftronix

RUMOUR MILL: NATALIE PORTMEN REUNION TOUR!?!?!?

Folks, this is what we've all been waiting for pretty much our entire lives. I've heard through some of my undisclosed and totally anonymous sources here at THE SHITSHOW's news desk that THE NATALIE PORTMEN are getting back together for a winter reunion tour. Where will they play first and when? No one knows. The band has yet to release an official statement, although members of the SHITSHOW STEERING COMMITTEE are hopeful they will do so through our media outlet.

Shake it cross the dancefloooooor

There are plenty of remixes coming from this song, ranging from Chromeo's synthy remix to some more electro stuff with the Laidback Luke remix. But Chromeo's is too saucy and doesn't keep the bpm at an acceptable level. And the Laidback Luke mix is just a little too electro, and not enough funk.

But the Lifelike remix is just right, mostly. I think the deeper more progressive beat is awesome. But I think the beatsmooshing that's going on throughout most of the beat drops is generally annoying and could have been done much much better (maybe with some lessons from Bmore club), and so it really suffers. And so I've set up plenty of loop cues on the track to try and get the good parts out without including the fancy stuff because i can put that in myself and half the time it sounds better. See if you can figure out where I put them!

Treasure Fingers - Cross The Dancefloor (Lifelike remix) by Iggy


But none of this is really the original artist's fault. When you compare the vocal smooshing in the Lifelike remix to some of Treasure Fingers' original stuff, it's apparent that this guy knows how to arrange his shit. The use of melodic sampling (that the Helenator and I like from pogo) in Lift Me is totally sweet, and the beat and vocals in It's Love are right on. This is the stuff that's stuck in my head now, and probably my roommate's too because it's on my decks every fucking night. Not that I do anything successful with those decks, but it's on there damnit!

Treasure Fingers - Lift Me (Original Remix) by valternylima

It's Love (Original Mix) - Treasure Fingers by arrhythmiamusic

The track that's sweeping through the european club scene

THAT'S RIGHT IT'S BARBARA STREISAND. BACK AGAIN, THIS TIME WITH A POSITIVE REVIEW. I heard the producers, A-Trak and Armand Van Helden on motherfucking NPR's all things considered on Saturday night. I think the song's great. I think the video's better.



This one goes out to DCJonesy, who hasn't heard this yet.

In post-dubstep uk, night slugs rule the gutter (house)

Remember that stuff that THE HELENATOR likes? Well this new stuff is post-that. Really though, as detailed by the folks at Resident Advisor, the artists under the new Night Slugs label have been dropping an impressive series of tracks that are all actually interesting and awesome at the same time.

Night Slugs is flourishing within in an unprecedented climate of creative endeavour that has recently gripped UK bass music; innovation is a word that both Sushon and Connolly use liberally. "That is something that we have always had to a greater or lesser extent and that's why our music scene is cool," concludes Sushon when asked why the UK scene is in the midst of such a purple patch. "There is constantly a side of our music scene that doesn't give a shit and is trying to do something new at the expense of any kind of a rule book. I think that's what the UK has that some places don't at the moment. Currently there are two things going on: Firstly, because of the internet and the fact that people have started to pay attention to the UK... it seems like there is a new thing when there might not necessarily be a new thing. Secondly, amongst us guys and maybe our peers, there is a reaction against the more formulaic genres that dominate most of the clubs around the Western world. Formulas are shit and we don't want them, so that's why we don't do them."

Fortunately, there's a few mix tapes out there that provide a nice sampler of their musical stylings. The Night Slugs are:

- Bok Bok
- L-vis 1990
- Egyptrixx
- Girl Unit

From Resident Advisor:
RA Label of the Month 1011 Mix: Night Slugs Mix (Download)

From Palms Out Sounds:
Numbers # 037 – A Mix by Girl Unit (Download)

VICTORY MONTAGE

For some awesome and amazing reason, DSJ (Dirty South Joe) and DJA (I don't know what that stands for) have combined forces to create the most epic thing ever. "Oh, that's just another exaggeration, another overuse of of the term 'epic'", you might be saying. But wait! Has any mix tape prior to this one so inspired you to engage in a training montage, to eventually emerge hungry for victory? I think not. This is the best combination of songs that has ever been assembled together. I can't even write this anymore, I'm too fucking amped to do anything but WIN!



Blood Bros: First Blood by maddecent

Testing, BIOTCH

come on everybody, make a fart noise.


TESTING

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