KEEP IT DIRTY

This is way, way overdue. Behold: a Crookers post! Crookers is not for sexy time. Crookers is hardcore dance music. Crookers does not make you loft your solo cups into the air because you will be too busy spilling your drink on your sequined dress dancing so hard. Crookers will hypnotise you with the absolute madness of their beats. You will ignore everything for Crookers. Loop it. Loop those beats hard.

And Crookers will get you laid. But please don't listen to this while you're doin' it. DISASTER WILL STRIKE. That's what Luvstep is for.

Commence m-m-m-ega post:
Crookers and Lil Jon - Hey Knobbers (Team Jaguar's "2008 will never die" Mix) by Team Jaguar
Day 'N' Nite (Crookers Remix) by shdowling
Dooms Night (Crookers Remix) by shdowling
Two Door Cinema Club Something Good Can Work Crookers Dirrrrrty Mix by shdowling
Savage Skulls & Douster – Bad Gal (Crookers Remix) – Douster Caliente Edit by shdowling

And remember this? Mandatory attendance.

NOTHING SAYS "I LOVE YOU" LIKE THE BASS DROP OF A SHITTY DUBSTEP TRACK

Seriously, before you get out those big yellow rubber gloves for whatever kinky shit you've got planned tonight, make sure you hit play on this mixtape. It was specifically designed by the LUV SCIENTISTS at Mad Decent (i.e., Dirty South Joe and Flufftronix) to induce sexy behavior in humans and probably some other kinds of organisms as well. Just imagine, hundreds of millions of bacteria fucking on your skin. Except that they don't really fuck, they divide. And they do that regardless of what music's playing. But just think about that. And then get it on, or something. Why? Listen to this line from the artists themselves:

"Luvstep 2 is the sound of electronic gruv glide inside lazer guided lullabies."

I don't even know that means. But you know who does? FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT. What a fucking love machine.

Dirty South Joe & Flufftronix - Luvstep 2 by flufftronix

BASS CANNON

bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS CANNON bass cannon BASS

this is actually a shitty song, fyi. thought it was about time to drop it like it sucks!

Bass Cannon by dorkimoe

SUBWOOFER RECOMMENDED

Remember that G6 song I was all over? Turns out the Cataracs have essentially made the same song but with a different hook. Don't care. Still love it. It's dirty. It makes me want to get wasted and wear stretch jeans and dance in ways that might not be legal in some states. I am desperate for this song to get played at one of our parties, but since dancing doesn't happen anymore this might be an awkward, awkward solo venture. Not like I'm unfamiliar with that.

The Cataracs - Bass Down Low (Featuring Dev.) by Velen

And for fun, here's a random dubsteppy/dnb/club/everything remix.
The Cataracs Feat. Dev - Bass Down Low (NTRLD Remix) by NTRLD