NINTENDO POWERRRR

Thanks to whatever dude on Facebook who posted this because it might be the best remix of anything ever.

NERD ALERT
ELECTRIXX TETRIS (original) by electrixx music

Also, I have no idea why those bros are wearing sunglasses in a snowstorm in painted cardboard boxes I just found it on the internet?

KEEP IT DIRTY

This is way, way overdue. Behold: a Crookers post! Crookers is not for sexy time. Crookers is hardcore dance music. Crookers does not make you loft your solo cups into the air because you will be too busy spilling your drink on your sequined dress dancing so hard. Crookers will hypnotise you with the absolute madness of their beats. You will ignore everything for Crookers. Loop it. Loop those beats hard.

And Crookers will get you laid. But please don't listen to this while you're doin' it. DISASTER WILL STRIKE. That's what Luvstep is for.

Commence m-m-m-ega post:
Crookers and Lil Jon - Hey Knobbers (Team Jaguar's "2008 will never die" Mix) by Team Jaguar
Day 'N' Nite (Crookers Remix) by shdowling
Dooms Night (Crookers Remix) by shdowling
Two Door Cinema Club Something Good Can Work Crookers Dirrrrrty Mix by shdowling
Savage Skulls & Douster – Bad Gal (Crookers Remix) – Douster Caliente Edit by shdowling

And remember this? Mandatory attendance.

CHI TOWN REPRESENT

True story: I once got a red crystal-covered hair bow from Kid Sister thrown into the crowd when she played at the U Street Music Hall. This was before DJ HELENATOR and her burlesque superstar bff GIGI HOLIDAY were invited up on stage to juke with the Chi Town legend. Concert win. Oh, FYI: She's Kid Sister because her older bro is Kanye West. Fun fact!

Like MIA, Kid Sister just released an amazing new mixtape: KISS KISS KISS. As far as I'm concerned this is even better than Vicki Leekx. This is really less a mixtape than a full-fledged remix/new album designed to be listened to as one long set. Here are my two favorite tracks:

Green Velvet - Everybody Wants by Hypetrak
Kid Sister - Right Hand Hi (Caspa Remix) by soul-or-system

Grab a free download of the full KISS KISS KISS tape here.

PART MAN, PART VAN

AT THE HEIGHT OF THE CUSTOM VANNING CRAZE, CHUCK CARDUZZI WAS ON TOP OF THE WORLD.

HE PUT TOGETHER A ROBOT SO HUMAN, YET SO POWERFUL, IT CAN ONLY BE CALLED VANDROID

THEN IT KILLED THE SHIT OUT OF HIM AND STARTED HAVING SEX WITH EVERYTHING

AND THIS IS THE SOUNDTRACK

SANTA, IF YOU GET ME THIS VHS FOR THE XMAS YOU WILL GET 23,987,342 HUGS AND 534,983,457 MILKS AND COOKIES

Vandroid - Master And Slave (Yuksek Remix) by lightson

Friday Throwback Remix

Also in the news:

Friday Throwback Remix

I don't know who makes this stuff. Who in the world has the persistence to listen to a shitty Eurythmics song, with all the dreadful 80s images that it conjures up - the coke, the hair, the legwarmers, the Ronald Reagan - who can sit through that long enough to bang out a masterful electro house remix? Probably the sort of person who, upon seeing a ford pinto rusting in an abandoned warehouse lot, speaks to it with hopeful words and promises to right the wrongs done by both its creation and subsequent neglect. And now as that ford pinto, its rims replaced with fresh bling, its windows tinted silver, as it drops the bass through our neighborhood we can look at it and almost forget that it ever was a ford pinto. Almost.

Better living through electro (TWERK/ STOP/)

Ladies in the front row touch them toes. After the serious disappointment of seeing Kid Sister perform live, I was very happy to find this JFK remix of their musics. Helen may claim otherwise, but even those 12 year old kids that were snorting coke off each others' faces could tell she played a shitty set. Even now I can barely listen to the original without reaching for that proverbial dial that would be there if computers were still awesome and still had dials. Granted, the synth is rad but everything else is a well-intentioned disaster. Without all the production it would just be Kid Sister's annoying-as-all-hell lyrics. But that can all be behind us now thanks to MSTRKRFT's re-engineering. ENJOYYYYY